Adjusting.....

Last night Adam and I were at the diner grabbing a bite to eat when he mentioned us possibly moving to a different county next year. At first I wasn't sure how I felt about it so I didn't comment I just sat and thought. Why did this thought bother me? Was I scared? Was I stubborn? I thought about this all night long and I came to the realization.... I feel like the rug has been ripped out from under me with all the changes to my life in the last two weeks. Now, please don't think these are bad changes. They are all wonderful changes that I've waited my entire life to make.

However, for the first time in my life I'm not living with my family. I'm sharing my bed with a man who is 6'2'' at least 250 pounds (meaning I'm not sleeping well), I'm married, I'm home alone a lot, and I miss my dog (We couldn't find an apartment we could afford that would let me keep her so she remains with my parents)..... It's just a lot to have happen. I talked/laughed/cried with my mom on the phone for an hour today. I was actually excited to go to my parents today and spend the day there but Adam is sick and if my mom gets sick she has to stop taking a medication that helps her a lot with her arthritis, so I cancelled those plans and stayed home. My mom called me while I was feeling sorry for myself and let me vent. She told me what I'm feeling is normal and that all newly weds have an adjustment period and to talk about things with Adam because he's adjusting too and we can help each other.

I know a lot of this probably seems so old school to some people. Most people wouldn't think of marrying someone they hadn't lived with first, but that isn't how I was raised, and that isn't what I wanted. I was blessed enough that I found a man who loves me enough to respect that. So when he got to the point he wanted us to live together- he put a ring on it!

I love my husband. I can't imagine my life with out him in it. I can't believe he hasn't always been a part of my life! I'm so excited and nervous all at the same time for our future together. I want to be a good wife for him and I can't wait to have his children. Well, yes I can wait because we are waiting- but the thought of creating another life with him, and him being a father to our children just... chokes me up.

We also got a kitten on our honeymoon. He had mentioned getting one several times and I kept saying no, that we weren't getting any more pets until I could have Gypsy with me. Well, his cat is old and not really much of a pet- to me at least- she waits at the door for Adam to get home every night- but I was lonely with out my dog and our lease allows for cats- not dogs. So.... Yeah.... Mu-Shoo is now nine weeks old and a total monster. He bites (playfully), he keeps us up at night, he doesn't listen at all. Sometimes I think I bit off more then I can chew with him. And it didn't really fix anything. If anything when he is misbehaving it kind of makes me miss Gypsy even more. *SIGH*

Adam's been at work for over twelve hours now and I miss him like crazy and can't wait for him to get home- whenever that will be.