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Saturday, July 27, 2013

On the weight loss front....

Did you ever reach a point in your journey when you were okay with how things were? Is it wrong to reach that point before hitting your goal weight?

My goal was always to be in the 160's. I knew that would still leave me with a little extra weight at my height of barely 5'4'', but that's what I wanted. Well, here I am holding strong in the 180's with a bout 10 pounds of loose skin so I technically count myself in the 170's and I'm okay with how things are.

I don't care anymore if I ever reach the 160's. I admit it. Every other goal I had for my weight loss has been met accept for the scale. I'm wearing the sizes I hoped I'd be but never really dreamed I'd be. In women's sizes I'm wearing size 8 pants, juniors either size 9 or 11. My tops now range depending on cut and style from a medium to an XL (mostly because of the skin on my stomach and my DD's).

Suddenly now that I'm married and REALLY living a life my priorities have shifted. I still try to eat healthy. There is always fresh fruit in our home, I eat salads all the time, try to do low carb. Admittedly I do not really exercise anymore but I stay active. Am I failure? In one way I feel like the biggest success for all I've accomplished both in weight loss and in my personal life.And then when I step on the scale and it isn't budging I feel mostly okay but then I think about logging into my weight loss Facebook and I find I don't want to for fear of having to admit that I'm not at goal- and worse to hear people be nasty that I'm okay with not being at goal.

For so long my life revolved around being overweight, and then I had surgery and it revolved around losing weight and following rules and getting healthy. Then I met Adam and fell in love and for the first time ever felt completely accepted just how I was. And I continued to lose weight after that. But here I am, with no changes in my weight since March really.

And then there is my father who had his VSG 2/8/13 and has lost well over 100 pounds already. He sees me still having weight to loose, he watches every bite I put in my mouth. Tries to get me to go for long walks in 100 degree heat, telling me it's time to loose the last of my weight. And I want to punch him in his mouth and I feel sort of like I created a monster.

Am I a failure because I don't feel like a failure? Am I a failure?

2 comments:

Sheila said...

Nope not a failure. I never reached my goal either (in fact, I've regained 15-20lbs <>>) and I will continue to battle the regain but certainly not worried anymore about reaching a weight goal. I'm happier, healthier and probably in better physical condition in my 40's than I was in my 20's. So it's all good!

Unknown said...

Hi Danielle Elizabeth! Glad to have stumbled upon your blog! I was wondering if you feature guest postings. Thanks and have a great day!

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