Confessions

Confession One
Sometimes I worry I met, fell in love, and got engaged to quickly. He's truly become my best friend and I can't imagine my life without him in it, but sometimes I find myself questioning if he's my life partner. We do have different religious backgrounds, which is 100% fine by me. My best friends have a Catholic mom and a Jewish dad and I have so enjoyed being a part of holidays with them and learning about both religions and how they have incorporated it into their girls. I sort of envisioned the same thing for him and I and any future kids we may be blessed with. I'm starting to doubt that now though. I am very Christian in that I don't believe in living with someone before marriage. He's of the mind set that you shouldn't marry someone if you haven't lived with them. So then I just wanna know why the hell he asked me to marry him?!?!?

Confession Two
My eating has turned to crap. I can't remember the last day I actually stuck to my diet plan. I pack lunch, have a healthy breakfast, then I get to work and it all crumbles. By the time lunch rolls around I'm so stressed out I want comfort food, not a hard boiled egg and cheese. One of the really hard working girls left for another job and I've taken on many of her duties. I don't mind this as it makes my dad that much more busy and go by faster, but I worry about my performance going down without as much time to pay attention to detail. I've eaten Honey Buns, Doritos, Combos, McDonalds, Taco Bell, KFC, and Sonic more than I'd like to admit the last few months. My weight loss has totally stopped. I bounce back and forth between 190-192. I really want to lose another 30-40 pounds and I know I can do it. I know it can be almost as easy as it was right after surgery if I just buckle down and eat the way I ate right after surgery. Virtually no carbs, except that which comes from my fruit and vegetables, and protein first. I do still try to eat protein first. At McDonalds when I order a double cheeseburger I always peel off the top bun and sometimes even the bottom bun and just eat the meat and cheese- I feel like that counts for something, right?

Confession Three
I really don't care about school anymore. I'm still chugging along and doing my assignments. But the joy I once felt knowing I was furthering my education is gone. It feels like just another thing I have to do, and I doubt if it will actually get me anywhere in life.... Besides further in debt that is. With the lack of overtime at work I really do depend on my college loans to pay for my tuition, and to help out financially. Especially this round of financial aid checks because my credit card debt feels staggering right now. How sad is it that I feel staggered and weighed down by $2,000 in debt?

Confession Four
My sister and an ex gentleman friend of mine unknowingly connected on a dating site and it took them a little while to realize who I was to each of them. Well, I haven't been around much lately to talk with my sister but tonight I over heard her talking with Alyse about some of her conversations with said gentleman friend and I'm not sure how I feel about it. Isn't there some sort of code that is being broken here? He should know better than to be talking to my sister if he really valued our friendship the way he says he did/does, and she shouldn't be talking to him knowing he and I have been together. It's weird, it's creepy, and just... gross.

Adam loves music and we went to a tribute concert of The Machine- a Pink Floyd tribute band.

A crazy drunk lady took this picture for us. I really do love him in spite of the rough week we had.