My birthday is in four days, I will be twenty-seven. Every year at my birthday I start reflecting on my life in the past and what I want it to be in the future. This year especially I am thinking about the future, with my VSG scheduled to be done December 8, 2011. This time next year I should literally be a whole new person.
That's forty-two days away. When I first started the countdown app on my cell phone it was sixty-eight. My oh my how time is flying.
I met the nutritionist for the second time yesterday. I'm down eight and a half pounds. That is enough weight loss to shrink my liver and to satisfy the surgeon. Obviously, I would love to lose more then that. After all, isn't the entire purpose of this process to lose weight? The tricky part for me is going to be not regaining any of it. But, then again, isn't that always the problem?
My cousins bypass surgery is scheduled for the same way, and if all goes well we should be sharing a room in the hospital. My mother is also planning to be there, which surprises the hell out of me. I truly don't believe my mother has left the house since my car accident on November 14, 2009. I will be impressed and very touched.
That being said I'm also so worried her being at the hospital will just be annoying. She is so dependent on others and my sister will already have her hands full. At first I really wanted my aunt to be there because next to my mother, she is the closest thing I have to that role. However, there is some family stuff going on right now and I don't know if I still feel that way. I want my mom there to stroke my hair or make the nurses tow the line if needed. Instead, she'll just need to be pushed around in a wheelchair that will probably resemble a stretcher. *sigh*
Deep down, I can't help but hope that her watching me go through this process will jump start her brain and make her want to change. Supposedly she has a doctor appointment in two days, but who knows if she will follow through with it. Like I said, it's been almost two years since she has left the house.
If anyone is reading this, please pray for my mother, maybe with more prayers something will change?
Wednesday, October 26, 2011
Thursday, October 20, 2011
Dying to be thin?
Not sure why I gave this entry that title, but I like the way it flows.
Life is really crazy right now. I'm so busy all day at work and my nights are dedicated to homework. I'm 48 days away from surgery.
Yesterday was my physical with my PCP and boy oh boy. I'm tired of being weighed and poked with needles. Although, yesterday did mark the second scale in a doctors office to say I've lost four pounds. So, maybe I really have lost four? I'm so nervous to go to the surgeons office on Tuesday and get on their scale. What if their scale says I haven't lost any weight?
I am happy to report that I shouldn't be having any more blood work done until December 2 when I have my pre-op blood work done. PHEW!! I was really starting to feel like a pin cushion- and needles and I do NOT get along! I actually cried in the doctors office when it was time for my flu and pneumonia shots. Cried like a baby. And then Jessica made the mistake of telling me that the IV needle will be bigger/worse than the needle they use when you donate blood.
I don't know what my issue with needles is about. The blood doesn't bother me. It really is just the needle! Glinting silver that is designed to slide right through your skin and rob your body of its life substance. I HATE THEM! They are rapers of veins everywhere!!
I ordered a video camera so I can start vlogging on YouTube. I'm excited to do that. I've watched so many inspiring stories on YouTube that I can't wait to add mine to the mix.
I sure wish I knew if people were reading this blog or not. Doesn't really matter, it helps me to write it down.
Life is really crazy right now. I'm so busy all day at work and my nights are dedicated to homework. I'm 48 days away from surgery.
Yesterday was my physical with my PCP and boy oh boy. I'm tired of being weighed and poked with needles. Although, yesterday did mark the second scale in a doctors office to say I've lost four pounds. So, maybe I really have lost four? I'm so nervous to go to the surgeons office on Tuesday and get on their scale. What if their scale says I haven't lost any weight?
I am happy to report that I shouldn't be having any more blood work done until December 2 when I have my pre-op blood work done. PHEW!! I was really starting to feel like a pin cushion- and needles and I do NOT get along! I actually cried in the doctors office when it was time for my flu and pneumonia shots. Cried like a baby. And then Jessica made the mistake of telling me that the IV needle will be bigger/worse than the needle they use when you donate blood.
I don't know what my issue with needles is about. The blood doesn't bother me. It really is just the needle! Glinting silver that is designed to slide right through your skin and rob your body of its life substance. I HATE THEM! They are rapers of veins everywhere!!
I ordered a video camera so I can start vlogging on YouTube. I'm excited to do that. I've watched so many inspiring stories on YouTube that I can't wait to add mine to the mix.
I sure wish I knew if people were reading this blog or not. Doesn't really matter, it helps me to write it down.
Tuesday, October 11, 2011
December 8, 2011
Yesterday I spoke with my surgeons coordinator and while I was giving her the dates for all of the clearance appointments she suggested we look at the calendar for a possible surgery date. Originally we looked at 12/1 and 12/2, but I decided on 12/8 so that my insurance has plenty of time to approve it after my last nutrition appointment on 11/28.
Yesterday we also scheduled my surgery class, last appointment with the doctor and a time for me to go in for my pre-surgery lab work. I thought I would be so super excited that I'd be jumping up and down, but instead I sort of feel just like "okay."
When I was sharing my feelings with my wonderful sister Jessica she was like that's because it is still 58 (now 57) days away. (Thank you iphone countdown app!) And all I could really think about was someday, when a warm wrapped baby is placed in my arms and I am gazing in to his/her face for the first time being over come with that love you hear mothers talk about, I'm going to remember December 8, 2011 as the date that made that possible.
Yesterday we also scheduled my surgery class, last appointment with the doctor and a time for me to go in for my pre-surgery lab work. I thought I would be so super excited that I'd be jumping up and down, but instead I sort of feel just like "okay."
When I was sharing my feelings with my wonderful sister Jessica she was like that's because it is still 58 (now 57) days away. (Thank you iphone countdown app!) And all I could really think about was someday, when a warm wrapped baby is placed in my arms and I am gazing in to his/her face for the first time being over come with that love you hear mothers talk about, I'm going to remember December 8, 2011 as the date that made that possible.
