Why didn't someone warn me?

I really wished someone had expressed how exhausted you are after having surgery even once the pain goes away.

Maybe it is just because it is my first week back at work... But I'm so exhausted it literally made me cry. At the support groups they just talk about the good stuff.

I really wish someone would just be honest with you. I'd still choose to do the surgery, nothing I've been through thus far would make me change my mind- but it would have been nice to have been better prepared.

The doctor assures me that this is normal. Even though it was a laproscopic (sp?) surgery it was still a major surgery. Thanks doc I never would have figured that out without you telling me. So when does it get better?!?!?!
Good news is he did tell me I can try taking my regular calcium again and get rid of those terrible options for chewable.

My scars are also healing very nicely, I am very pleased with them and the doctors reaction pleased me even more. He is impressed with them as well... Almost surprised he didn't ask to take pictures lol. He also said I am ahead of schedule for weight loss. Today is day 17 and I am down 27 pounds from the day I came home from surgery.

I'm happy- but tired... Oh so tired... In fact, I'm going to bed now.

Sweet dreams all!

First NSV (Non-scale victory)

Today I had to return some clothes I ordered online to Fashion Bug and managed to get the sister who doesn't totally hate shopping to go with me. Since I was returning clothes because they were too big it was okay to browse as long as I didn't spend more then I was refunded right?

Well, shopping is so much fun right now! In August I remember being in Fashion Bug to get an outfit for my uncles 80th bday and crying in the dressing room when I had to try on 4x because 3x just didn't work anymore. So today I go into the dressing room with a few shirts in 3x and one 2x just because they didn't have it in a 3x. I tried on the 2x first because I figured I could cheer myself up with the other shirts when this one didn't fit.... But guess what!!

I had to peak my head out of the dressing room and ask Alyse "Can you see if this one is on the clearance rack in a 1x?" Seriously, that moment is totally in my top 10 best moments ever! I ended up getting a few shirts that were 2x and a few that were 1x. I comfortably fit the 2x's now- but I know it won't be long before I need the 1xs. (At $5/each how can you not stock up a little in the smaller sizes?)

It was such a fantastic day. Alyse hasn't seen me since before my surgery because she was away at college. When she saw me for the first time last night she kept telling me all the places I had lost weight. Once she and Jessica started commenting on the fact that my thighs looked thinner- it was picture time. I stood in the doorway I took my preop pics and then loaded the new ones into the computer side by side.... WOW! You can see the difference.

Who knew I have a neck? lol!!!
I'll post some pics after today... I want the first time I post pics to be a fabulous hair/makeup day!... And how could I forget--- cute clothes day too!

First Post-Op "Meal"

So, technically I'm not supposed to be starting on soft foods until Monday. After reading so many blogs and all about different peoples diet plans after surgery and seeing how many people go home from the hospital on purees and mushies I feel comfortable with my choice to have a tiny bit of soft food tonight.

What did I decide on? Was it my shrimp and cheese I craved so bad the first few days? Was it the meat from a lobster roll I just new I HAD to have days 5-8?

Can you guess what this is?

The meat from two tiny crab legs with half of a ritz cracker and a few squirts of I Can't Believe It's Not Butter. It was delicious!!!!!!! As you can imagine snow crab legs do not come with much inside of them. This picture is of my left overs. But it was so nice to sit at the table with my family while they ate their roast beef, carrots and potatoes (that I made for them) and eat something real. Now, tomorrow I'm going to try to stick to my shakes again until Monday. Maybe lol.

For the record- I do not support or condone not sticking with your surgeons plan. I made the choice to not follow my surgeons plan and will take what ever consequences come my way as a result of this decision. Never in my life did I think I could ever be so satisfied with such a small portion of something so delicious! Prior to this meal I would have wanted/needed POUNDS of crab legs to be happy.

So up until today I have REALLY struggled with getting in my fluids. Two nights ago my lips were so dry and chapped that I stayed up until 2 a.m. just to try and sip more fluids. In those two extra hours I managed to get in only 8oz. Well... welcome to what I needed to get my fluids. In the last two hours I've now managed to get in 16oz of fruit punch crystal lite. I've seen a lot of things posted and it was even suggestion by the nutritionist to not drink from a straw because it could cause extra gas. Well, at this point I am so desperate to get fluids in I'll deal with gas if I have to.  Thank you Christmas Tree Shop for this awesome $4 purchase!

I'm going into work for the first time tomorrow, but only for a half day. I'm going to go in after lunch time so I don't have to deal with the smells of McDonalds, Taco Bell, chinese and pizza. I'm nervous as can be! My job can be so back and forth with the crazy I'm affraid I'm gonna be walking back into a crap storm. Oh well. Keep me in your prayers!

~D

Day of surgery pics

I'm nervous doing this. No one really needs to see how fat I started out (at least in my mind you don't really need to see them,) But maybe it will help someone else to see what I've started out at. Now- keep in mind I've already lost 22 pounds since surgery, and 31 since starting this process... But here were go!

9 Days Post Op

I am feeling SO much better! Virtually no pain remaining, and I'm just trying to get in my protein and water.
Getting enough water in is a challenge. I find myself having to stay awake later than I want just just to try and get in an extra 8 ounces.

When I've left the house I try to keep my 8oz bottle of water open and in my hand so every few minutes I take a sip- and this works well. I just haven't left the house much.

My family and friends have all been so super supportive. There was a bump in the road my first day home from the hospital with my mother, but it's worked itself out.

I can't wait to go back to work. I'm kind of getting bored at home- although I'll miss my afternoon naps :) I'm also desperate for money. I live pay check to paycheck and by taking off the second week I'm putting some finances in jeopardy. Good news is that we will be getting Christmas bonuses at work this year. I'm not expecting the fantastic bonus I had last year- but probably about half of that which is also just totally awesome to me right now! Along with a 2-3% raise.... I'll take it!

I'm finally done with school for this semester. I've managed to pass my first college level math course with about an 80!!!! I can't believe it I'm so excited! This from the girl who took three tries to get out of basic algebra in high school! Also expecting about a 95 in my English class.

Next semester I'm taking American History, Science 101, Advanced Writing and Fundamentals of Nutrition. The nutrition class is an elective that I do not need at all for my associates degree, rather it is a class I'm taking because I think it is very applicable to my surgery. I haven't decided if I will share with my class this journey or not, but I love sharing it with all of you.

I have a vlog on YouTube that I also greatly enjoy doing. The link for that is www.youtube.com/madamdanyell

Holla atcha girl! lol

Below is my vlog from 6 days post op.

Post-op day 5

So I feel a lot better today. YAY! My energy level isn't up there and probably won't be for a long time, but each day I seem to feel better.

Yesterday I went to the grocery store with my Dad and walked around. It was uncomfortable, but the rest of my body needed to move. When I got home I rested on the couch for a bit, but I didn't end up napping.

Today I woke up and I had been sleeping partially on my tummy! At first I was alarmed by this, but then I realized it didn't hurt and I fell asleep again. When I woke up again I was able to sit up without wanting to die. So, the pain is getting better. It's mostly just uncomfortable now with an occasional side of stab.

Something else I hadn't anticipated was how cold I would be. At first I thought it was because of all the blood thinners. However, I've since done a bit of research and have found that the ghurelin (a chemical found in the large part of your stomach- the part I had removed) may also help in your body regulating your temperature. Eventually it'll work itself out but for now, my teeth would chatter! So off to Target with my Dad where we purchased an electric blanket. I'm currently under it and toasty warm :) And as you can see from the picture, Gypsy loves it too!

So now for the amazing news! Drum roll please.......................
As of right this second I am down 17 pounds from 12/7/11. Today is 12/10/11. How awesome is that?

Things I wish someone had told me

I wish someone had told me how much this surgery was going to hurt. I don't feel like doing anything I'm in so much pain. Sleeping is the only escape from it and that isn't even fool proof because if I go to move in my sleep the pain wakes me up.

I have a total of 7 incisions. Only one hurts though- the one they actually removed stomach through. Part of me is wondering what the hell did I just do to myself... For the rest of my life. And to make matters even worse, when I get on the scale I've actually gained weight because of all the fluids they gave me in the hospital. But every time I pee I lose up to a pound, so the water weight is quickly coming off.

In recovery all I could do was smile and picture having a baby. I did this so I can have babies and now I feel like I'm in so much pain I'd take it all back if I could. I know I need to give it a few days before deciding I feel that way, but I can't help it.

I had to throw a really huge hissy fit in the hospital in order to get them to speed up the process of my release papers. I wanted to go home! I wouldn't take a dying snake to that @!*##!@* hospital. A nurse actually had the nerve to tell me she couldn't bend over to help me put socks on. Sorry- but I thought the job of a nurse was to help. Thank my lucky stars for Jessica- I had my own private nurse come in and she saved me.

Noel is doing 10x better than I am. I don't want to say that she has a better pain tolerance then I do, but it is certainly seeming that way. Then again, less than a year ago Noel had a c-section, so this probably doesn't compare.

I'll post more later, I'm starting to feel weak again.

Shield your eyes- there's a belly pic below!

Anxiety! Hi, how are you?

So0o0o0o0o0o0o... Approved. Yay, right? Nay!

Tuesday 11/29 got the news I was approved for surgery by the insurance. Wednesday 11/30 get a phone call that my surgeon is having emergency surgery and will be out of the office for about two months. Talk about kinked up plans. So, I can still have my surgery on Monday 12/5 but it will be with a doctor I haven't met with officially. I'll be meeting him for about five minutes today just to say I've met him.

I'm not waiting for Dr. Kaul to come back. I really really wanted to. But, we're talking about February being the earliest I can get my surgery now and I could already be down 50+ pounds by then. I'm not waiting. Dr. Maffei is the chief bariatric surgeon at Putnam Hospital Center, so obviously he knows his stuff too.

I keep having this half fantasy/half dream that they switch Noel and my surgeries and give us the wrong ones. She gets VSG and I get bipass. Well, I think she and I would both be okay with that too. Think about the amount of money we'd get for that one! I'd be able to quit my crummy job and tell all those nasty people in that office ...... a lot of bad things I won't post here!

Right now I don't know how I'm going to get home from the hospital. I can't be in the car with my dad for that long of a time with him driving 40mph... Jessica has a patient who is demanding to be seen by her at 3pm on the day I'm to be released. I have the option of riding home with Noel and Aunt Jessie, but I really don't think I'll feel up to sitting in a back seat 2 days after I've had major surgery, ya know? Tempted to drive myself home lol.

I wish Alyse was going to be here. I know that sounds so weird probably. But Alyse is the patient caretaker type and I think it'd be nice to have her around. She was so great last year with my Dad when he was in the hospital. So, she better be up in Oz studying hard and acing those finals!

Anyway, I woke up an hour late for work. I got on the scale this morning after pigging out for a week. I'm actually down another pound, who knew?

Adios amigAs!